The NLP Agreement Frame

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The NLP Agreement Frame is very effective in conflict resolving, when compared with all other Frames, especially in Sales and Negotiation as a way to have someone by your side.

The fundamental assumption here is that each of us have a map of the world, and we are capable of making decisions and have convictions that make up the model of our world. For instance what do you see, in the above picture? Do you see, a lady or a black panther? Similarly, my map of the world is different to that yours and vice versa. We may both be right, or both be wrong, depending on the context of the issue.

If I, challenge your model of the world and impose you to see the world as I see, you feel resistance and you will begin to act out. Think about a time, when you did not agree with someone, you felt that they were wrong and you were forthright by pointing out to the mistake? How was your rapport after this situation? Was it still there ? Or was the rapport affected after the conversation?

This is where the Agreement Frame comes in, it empowers you to get your message to the other person without causing friction. Does it sound valuable? It does, doesn’t it?

For instance, let’s say your friend says, “The whether is very cloudy and dull!”

You may respond, ” I appreciate your feelings, but at least it is not raining !”

You may anticipate to have your friend on board with you, but unfortunately they may not share the same feeling. The usage of the word “but”, implies that you are informing them that, “I don’t quite agree with you!”. By using the word “but” you are negating whatever you said before it! You imply, “You are WRONG, I am RIGHT. This is WHAT it really , is….”

The thing is that we are all sophisticated beings, and you cannot probably “Understand” other’s thought processes. So when you say -“I understand” it increases distrust into the mind of the other person. “But” further implies that they are wrong, and put the other person in a weird limbo where they try to substantiate their feelings and convince you! This way you elicit resistance in them!

Pro tip: Use “And” in places of “but”, use words such as “I Appreciate… I agree…” more often. Whenever you are having any conversation, you should consider the other person’s unconscious mind as well, by using such words you are getting the unconscious to agree with you.

Want to learn more about the different frames? Why don’t you check out our NLP Training programs?!

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