If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.

“Imagine this exercise: you take a homing pigeon out of its roost, put it in a cage, cover the cage with a blanket, put the cage in a box and then place the box into a closed truck cab. You can then drive a thousand miles in any direction. If you then open the truck cab, take out the box, take off the blanket and let the homing pigeon out of the cage, the homing pigeon will fly up into the air, circle three times and then fly unerringly back to its home roost a thousand miles away. 

This is the only creature on earth that has this incredible cybernetic, goal-seeking function, except for man. 

You have the same goal achieving ability as the homing pigeon, but with one marvelous addition. When you are absolutely clear about your goal, you do not even have to know where it is or how it is to be achieved. By simply deciding exactly what it is you want, you will begin to move unerringly toward your goal, and your goal willstart to move unerringly toward you. At exactly the right time, and in exactly the right place, you and the goal will meet. 

Because of this incredible cybernetic mechanism located deep within your mind, you always achieve your goals, whatever they are. 

You move toward them and they move toward you. If your goal is to get home at night and watch television, you will almost certainly achieve it. If your goal is to create a wonderful life full of health, happiness and prosperity, you will achieve that as well. Like a computer, your goal seeking mechanism is non-judgmental. It works automatically and continuously to bring you what you want, regardless of what you program into it.”

Almighty Dollar!

“One frequent guest was a technology executive. He was a genius, having designed and patented a key component in Wi-Fi routers in his 20s. He had started and sold several
companies. He was wildly successful.
He also had a relationship with money I’d describe as a mix of insecurity and childish
stupidity.


He carried a stack of hundred dollar bills several inches thick. He showed it to everyone
who wanted to see it and many who didn’t. He bragged openly and loudly about his wealth,
often while drunk and always apropos of nothing.

One day he handed one of my colleagues several thousand dollars of cash and said, “Go to the jewelry store down the street and get me a few $1,000 gold coins.”

An hour later, gold coins in hand, the tech executive and his buddies gathered around by adock overlooking the Pacific Ocean. They then proceeded to throw the coins into the sea,
skipping them like rocks, cackling as they argued whose went furthest. Just for fun.

Days later he shattered a lamp in the hotel’s restaurant. A manager told him it was a $500
lamp and he’d have to replace it.

“You want five hundred dollars?” the executive asked incredulously, while pulling a brick of
cash from his pocket and handing it to the manager. “Here’s five thousand dollars. Now getout of my face. And don’t ever insult me like that again.”

You may wonder how long this behavior could last, and the answer was “not long.” I learned
years later that he went broke.”

PS: Excerpt from Psychology of Money

The only limits we have are the limits we believe!

Our capability as human beings is limitless.

How much of that capacity we tap into, however, is influenced by our beliefs and values.

Empowering beliefs and values will result in magnanimous outcomes.

Disempowering beliefs and values results in playing safe, playing small, and getting insignificant inconsequential results.

The difference between you and a successful individual, between where you are now and where you want to be in your life is straightforward:

You must be disciplined and focus your determination– your personal power. Your ability to direct and condition your mind to act and produce results to close the knowing doing gap. The gumption and desire are within you – you just need to align them.

What people WILL do is often different than what they CAN do – and when you align your passion to go farther, try harder, and fail bigger with your hunger and drive… You’ll see your results follow suit.

Can you think about an area of your life where you can exercise more of your personal power? Where can you change your belief and value patterns and to empower new results?
In what area of your life would that make a difference for you?

Maybe you’ve been freewheeling in your career and it’s time to move up.

Maybe it’s about standing up to yourself be it in the gym or running marathons or swimming

Maybe it’s experiencing what waking up 10 minutes earlier could do for your morning routine.

Maybe it’s confronting the fear of being vulnerable to create even more intimacy in your relationships.

Make a plan now to execute goals and try it out for a week – defining your agenda to make it real and see what happens when you commit to truly analyzing what you’re competent of as a human being.

Who knows you might be the next Elon Musk!

Stand guard at the door of your mind.

Can you imagine this?

It has been close to two years since the world hibernated.

If you’re still feeling high and dry, unhappy, or irked after all this time and you want to step aside from another year of these same emotions, there’s good news!

You can turn it all around right now all by yourself.

Because you can take a stand on what to zoom in on, in every moment of your life.

Decisions – NOT your external environs– are what ultimately determine our destiny.

There are three decisions we’re all making consciously or unconsciously…

And when you’re aware of these three decisions, you can fortify your decision-making muscle, gain more clarity into what you want, and ultimately create more happiness and more fulfillment in your life!

What am I going to zero in on?
What we choose to focus on affects our whole life.

Unfortunately, what most people focus on is what they fear – it’s our basic disposition.

We have a 2-million-year-old brain designed to keep us safe and vigilant keeping us from any potential danger!

What we focus on, we feel – whether it’s true or not. And as Tony says, “where focus goes, energy flows.”.

What if you spent this time concentrating on gratitude or nourishing a growth mindset?

What does this MEAN?
The meaning you assign to things will ultimately shape how you feel.

Is someone nit-picking at you, or instead offering valuable insights?

The most successful people in the world can take ANY experience and turn it around to make it work FOR them.

When you focus on creating a meaning that is empowering, your brain will find the resources to make it happen.

What am I going to DO?
How are you going to respond? How can you grow during this time?

If you’re angry, you’re going to do something different than if you’re feeling grateful.

Meaning has a profound impact on the actions you take (or don’t take)!

Making these decisions helps you move from a world where other people are making your decisions , to a world where you call the shots.
The quality of your life depends on your decisions, throughout a lifetime, you’ll make thousands of decisions.

These are three that you make DAILY that have tremendous influence in the present and the future.

It’s up to YOU to control your focus.

You can decide to be frustrated, angry, depressed or scared…

Or you can decide to be grateful, in control, and blessed.

The donkey and the tiger!

The donkey told the tiger : The grass is blue.

The tiger replied: No, the grass is green.

The discussion became heated and the two decided to bring in a third party to arbitrate. They decided to bring the lion.

Before reaching the lion on its throne, the donkey began asking, ” Your majesty, isn’t it true that the grass is blue? “

The lion replied, “Yes, you are right the grass is blue indeed”.

The donkey sprang forward and continued, ” The tiger unfortunately disagrees with this fact, and annoys me. Kindly give me justice and punish him”.

The lion then declared that : the tiger will now remain silent for the next 5 years.

The donkey was overjoyed, began to sing ” The grass is blue “

The tiger after accepting his punishment, out of curiosity asked the lion, ” Your highness, I still don’t understand why you have punished me, after all the grass is green! “

The lion says, it has nothing to do with the fact of grass is green or blue. The punishment is because it is imperative for a courageous, intelligent creature like you to waste valuable time arguing with a donkey and moreover bring it to my notice.

It is important to make sure that the people who are presented with evidence to have the ability to make informed choices rather than those that are prejudiced or narcissistic and care only about themselves.

How to know whether you are obsessed or not?!

The rampant knowledge of today’s business practice is that the distressing thoughts and feelings have no space at the workplace, and that employees, especially the heads of organization’s, should be either unemotional or perpetually utopian. They must exude confidence and disconnect from any dynamic emotions fizzing up inside them, especially the ‘negative’ ones.

But as we’ve observed, it contradicts the basic nature of human beings. No matter how good they are at what they do, all healthy human beings have an inherent flow of thoughts and feelings that include judgement, reluctance and fear. That’s just the human brain doing its job, trying to comprehend the world, predict and find resolutions, and dodge from potential dangers.

We now know that satisfaction and thriving in your personal life do not come from doing what the society say is right for you, but from aligning with your deep seated values. The same is true at work. While it’s conventional to accept certain limitations in a quid pro quo for a pay cheque, employment is not slavery, and employees are not chained. So how can you know whether you are obsessed or not?

Some of the indicators that say you are obsessed could be :

You are unable to let go of a belief or a thought of ‘being right’ even when there is an apparently better course of action.

You stay zipped when you know something is going off track.

You bury yourself with trivial tasks without recognizing the bigger picture.

You become unresponsive

You take initiative for insignificant assignments.

You backbite about colleagues.

You depend on presumptions or preconceived notions about your colleagues.

You aren’t taking control over your own prefessional development.

HOW DO I WANT MY LIFE TO LOOK LIKE?

Imagine you could write a letter about your current self to your future self!

Imagine who would you be ‘then’ .. And write about the individual you are now .

What are some of the things that are very dear to you?

How would you typically see your life?

Initially writing a letter could not be a significant activity to see a change in your attitude or behavior. It will begin to establish a link between your current self and future self while throwing light on the values you hold closely to your heart.

When you begin to know your personal values and get comfortable with them, you will shift your focus on leading a deeply fulfilling life.

The moment you read “values” there is an unsettling feeling inside you! Values are personal to individual, they are not universal axioms! Identifying values can keep you zen about life. They are freely chosen, values are like your North Star that keeps you in the direction you have chosen in life. Values give you the flexibility of living your life on your own terms and gives you freedom from social mirror.

You can get clarity about your values by asking some simple questions such as :

  • End of the day, what matters to you?
  • What kind of relationships do you want to strive for?
  • What is the theme of your life?
  • What kind of mood do you want to experience? What makes you feel empowered?
  • If you can wave a magic wand in your life what would be gone? What would improve?

“Pennebaker’s Writing Rules”

Set a timer for twenty minutes. Open up your notebook (or create a document on your computer). When the timer starts, begin writing about your emotional experiences from the past week, month and year. Don’t worry about punctuation, sloppiness or coherence. Simply go wherever your mind takes you, curiously and without judgement. Write just for yourself, and not for some eventual reader. Do this for a few days. Then, throw the paper away (or stick it in a bottle and cast it out to sea), or close the document without saving it. Or if you’re ready, start a blog or find a literary agent. It doesn’t matter. The point is that those thoughts are now out of you and on the page. You have begun the process of ‘stepping out’ from your experience to gain perspective on it.

Pennebaker’s writing rules

If I am not for myself, who am I?

Long ago in Ancient Greece there lived a boy, Narcissus, the son of the river god Cephissus and the fountain nymph Liriope. His divine origin had blessed him with equally divine looks. With wavy locks tumbling over his forehead and a body sculpted by years of climbing trees and scrambling over rocks hunting for deer and birds, Narcissus quickly amassed an army of admirers.

People everywhere—young and old, men and women—fell for him almost instantly. Soon his reputation reached beyond the human world. Anytime he wandered through the thick forests or along the rippling rivers near his home, Narcissus inevitably drew a crowd of tree or water nymphs eager to catch a glimpse of him.

Narcissus became accustomed to this admiration, but never offered a welcoming response. As legendary as his beauty might have been, he soon became equally well known for his indifference. One by one, potential lovers approached him and, one by one, he turned them away. He seemed to think himself above kindness or love, above the ordinary world of humans, above everyone, really—even the gods.

One day the mountain nymph Echo joined the ranks of his unrequited lovers. As the sun broke through the trees of the forest she caught a glimpse of Narcissus strolling through the woods on his daily hunt. Her heart burned. Unable to look away, she began to follow him, discreetly at first, peering quietly through the branches and leaves. Then, overcome by passion, she grew bolder, trampling noisily in his path. Soon, he sensed he was being followed. “Who’s there?” he called.

Echo tried to answer, but she had no voice of her own—the result of an ancient curse by the goddess Hera (Echo had distracted her with incessant chatter one too many times). She tried to call out, but could only repeat his words. “Who’s there?” she replied sadly. “Come out now!” he demanded. “Out now,” she answered, tearfully. Growing angry, perhaps feeling mocked, Narcissus shouted. “Show yourself!” “Yourself!” cried Echo, leaping out from behind the trees. She reached out, throwing her arms around his neck. But Narcissus’s heart remained cold. “Get away!” he barked. Then, as he fled, he yelled cruelly over his shoulder, “I’ll die before I love you!”

“Love you!” Echo called, sobbing. Humiliated and heartbroken, she disappeared into the thickest part of the woods. She refused to move, refused even to drink or eat, and her body slowly withered away, until only her voice remained.

Meanwhile, the gods grew tired of the wreckage Narcissus had been leaving in his wake. One man, Ameinias, had become so distraught when Narcissus spurned his advances that he drew a sword and ran himself through. But before he did, he whispered a prayer to the goddess of vengeance, Nemesis. She quickly answered with a curse befitting the cruelty she’d witnessed. Narcissus himself was to know the pain of unrequited love.

One afternoon soon after, while strolling through his beloved woods, he came upon a cool, clear spring, so eerily still that it looked like a mirror. Thirsty from the walk, he bent down to drink, and when he did, he caught a glimpse of a beautiful face. He was so clouded by Nemesis’s curse he didn’t realize he was staring at himself. His heart hammered in his chest. He’d never known a feeling like this before, the depth of longing, the sheer joy of being in a person’s presence. Maybe this is love, he thought.

“Come join me!” he cried. Silence. “Why won’t you answer me!” he bellowed, gazing at his reflection. “Don’t you want me, too?” He bent down to kiss the water and the face, briefly, seemed to fade from view. “Come back!” He tried to approach the man again, to touch him, to feel his embrace. But each time he did, the face seemed to retreat, disappearing into the still waters of the spring.

Hours went by, then days, until at last, Narcissus stood up and dusted himself off. He finally knew what to do. “I’ll come to you!” he called out into the water. “That way we can be together!” With that, he dove into the pool, plunging down into the darkness, deeper and deeper, until he disappeared from sight, never to surface again.

Moments later, at the edge of the pool, a fantastic flower sprang up, a nimbus of white petals ringing a bright yellow trumpet. It leaned over the pool, forever gazing into the waters beneath it.

#rethinkingnarcissism

What difference does it make if you enroll for a coaching program?

What difference does this make if you enroll for our coaching program? All the difference in the world!

Individuals who are complete, unified,  self-actualizing, and who seek peak experiences are not playing it safe, they are not  trying to get back to comfort zones, or  afraid of change. These people embody change . They love to soak up, grow, spread out, spring up and change. They yearn to move to the next level of development. They are poignant in growth and learning. For them, change is a feat.

To apply an old model of change, built for people who are in smithereens and stymied and who need amelioration, encouragement security, is to use the wrong model. Every coaching program we’ve come across acknowledges, “Coaching is not therapy.” Yet only a few can define the distinction in any minutia, and even fewer actually use those distinction in coaching to internalising change in a coherent way.

Coaching is not solely a mushy and delightful chat that babbles about goals. Effective and masterful coaching is much more premeditated and commanding than that. It is client focused yet it is not non-commanding. Powerful coaching expedites a conversation that spurt into a sagacious dialogue through probing questioning and feedback.

A dynamic coach works with language, gesture, and conversation as a doyen in process. That is, the coach’s proficiency is in the meta-processes over and above the explicit content. This is what enables a coach to truly promote new potentials in a client.